26 Things

26 was somehow simultaneously the best year and not the best year, but I guess that’s how I feel about every year. 365 days is a long time.
It’s ironic because when things are the best and not the best, I do the same thing: write. These are 26 sentences, questions, thoughts, wonders, ideas, opinions, and emotions that I pulled from my writing in the last year, and I wonder if they’ll still apply at 27.
  1. If you don’t practice gratitude daily you’re missing out on something magical. Gratitude changed my life when I was in high school. I woke up every day and started two habits: thanking the day I had, and telling myself how much I appreciate the person I am. My perspective changed immensely, and I see every day through a mind and heart that is thankful for what it has, no more and no less.
  2. You’ll never know your boundaries if you don’t go outside of them once in a while. Theories are fun, but isn’t testing the only way to really find the truth?
  3. Anyone’s actions, and however they affect other people, are simply a result of them acting in search of their own happiness. I believe in the innate goodness of people, and every human’s common desire to find what will make them happy. So I’ve come to learn that while what we do is a great reflection of who we are, our actions are also because we all want the same thing. We all believe that what we believe is right. Right?
  4. Would you rather be happy or would you rather be “right”?
  5. We’re not here to ask each other to change. We are here to support each other in our changes, and push for the growth that comes with them.
  6. What do you value in your friendships? Just a question.
  7. Sometimes I have an inability to put myself first. And this can be mistaken for weakness, kindness, generosity. I’ve learned that I feel blame because I take it, and that it is within my responsibility to say no to blame, shame, guilt, and feelings that don’t belong to me. I am not responsible for anyone else’s happiness, and I can differentiate the burdens that are and aren’t mine.
  8. We’re all looking for the same things, but we search for them differently. Don’t wait until life is over to figure out what it meant to you. This is a desire we find on our own. We stray, but at the end of the day, we know.

  9. Too often we let results determine our choices. We use the words “if” and “then” and “wrong” and “right” to lead our decisions instead of our own feelings. I’m working on internalizing that there are no wrong and right decisions, only choices to which the universe will adjust.

  10. There is much to appreciate in the human quality that is unpredictability. It has become my favorite thing about people. Everyone is constantly changing, trying new things, growing into newness. So how can we realistically expect that people will always stay the same, make the same decisions, and be predictable?

  11. Everyone around me is here to wake me up and teach me something. Recently I’ve come to be grateful for the people in my life who are not like me. Sometimes we only see the patterns in us because someone comes into our lives to show us, and through this we learn that we are every quality. We are all patient and kind, selfish and angry, unique and wild. We just don’t always see it, and at times don’t want to believe it.

  12. I have a lot to say about a lot of things. I guess that’s what happens when you’re learning.

  13. My heart feels broken and whole at the same time. This year I lost a friend and it hurt so bad to hear that from the beginning, our friendship was doubted. But it also meant a lot to me to know that our paths crossed when they did, that we gave each other all we could in the time we had, and that nothing will take away my gratitude for that.

  14. I believe in endings just as much as beginnings because when you think about it – both are beginnings. Saying goodbye is just about the worst thing for me to go through, but I’m learning that goodbyes are just beginnings in disguise.

  15. I bet I smile when I sleep. I wrote this years ago and I hope it’s still true.

  16. What does it feel like to interfere with others’ happiness? Sometimes all we want is for the people in our lives to be happy, so much so that we forget to let them figure out for themselves what it is they need to discover.

  17. It’s not until you look back at who you used to be that it seems possible to change. Four years ago, I couldn’t run a mile without stopping, nor did I even want to. Then I made a habit out of running, and I’d wake up at 5 am to run 15 kilometers not just because I could, but because I wanted to. In the time it took me to prepare for a full course marathon, I got to experience that nothing feels better than running right past your own fear and self doubt and never looking back.

  18. The only way to get stronger is to push your limits and stay where it’s uncomfortable. In yoga and in life, I remind myself to stay. This doesn’t mean stay in an abusive relationship or a workplace that affects you negatively. It means: do the difficult and uncomfortable thing, and leave. Stay in your decision to leave. Just breathe. And soon you will find comfort.

  19. Know what you have and you’ll have everything you need. In gratitude, we find answers.

  20. When you have love, be conscious that it is a treasure. People are not just capable of loving and choosing to love, but are born to do it. Some have forgotten, but it takes just one person and one experience in love to get it back.

  21. Everything happens in my favor. I’ve been saying this for years, and I believe it more with every accomplishment, loss, challenge, and win. There are reasons, and I decided that it’s okay not to know.

  22. Look around to find that everything you see is a choice. What surrounds you, physically or not, represents you. The objects in your room, the things you use, and the clothes you wear, are a symbol of you. And the people closest to you are extensions of you. To come to the realization that we choose the things and environments and humans around us is priceless. I’m glad I got there pretty early.

  23. Practice gets you anywhere you want to go. Everything from being honest and saying no, to headstands and splits, is practice.

  24. I want to be more patient and present, and show more empathy and support. How do I do that? Practice, I guess.

  25. We all have things to grow upon. This will never change.

  26. Everything is energy! Emotions and feelings are energy. Good and bad experiences are energy. What does energy do? It comes, and it goes. It passes through. And we are all just vessels for energy, with the ability to take in the good and the bad. Sometimes we make it harder by trying to hold on longer than we should. But energy is its own force. Just let it pass. Be an open vessel. Let it in, feel it, let it out.
It’s clear that I’ve learned so much in the last year, some lessons by choice and some lessons through pain. Pretty sure that’s how it will be forever. I’ll be grateful for each one. I know how lucky I am.

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