You’ve got my love to lean on darling, all the days

Before I left for South Korea three years ago, my older sister told me that she’s a little bit sad that I’ll miss some important “growing up” moments in my niece’s (her daughter’s) life in this next year that I’ll be in South Korea. Well, I’ve been here for three years and it really pains me that I’ve missed out on my nieces’ and nephew’s youths. What if they have their first kiss? What if they get bullied and don’t know who to turn to? What if they get in a fight with their parents and want to talk to me about it? All these what-ifs went through my mind, so I started writing letters to my eldest niece. I put them in a box, and I hope that when the time comes, she’ll pass it on to my other nieces and nephew, and that it will be helpful to them while I’m gone.

This was one of the letters:

To my little one,

There is so much that I want to teach you and tell you and learn from you. I hate to be absent for any part of your beautiful life, but while I’m away, I hope you remember some of what I’ve already tried to teach you.

Be patient and kind, to everyone, always. Including yourself.

Do not believe in luck. Believe in gratitude. Feel it all the time.

Treat every human being as exactly that: a human being. Show respect to everyone, even your enemies, and do not tolerate being disrespected.

Your feelings are YOURS and there is never a need to explain why you feel them.

When you learn something, don’t forget it. Intelligence is extremely attractive and invaluable.

Never, ever, ever, ever assume. Never assume that someone ignored you, or that someone is mad at you, or that something was your fault. Because anything can happen at any time, and we are not always aware of everything at once. Don’t disregard coincidence.

In confrontations and arguments, express only how you feel. Do not tell people what they did, but tell them how they made you feel.

Living well is the best revenge. Don’t believe in revenge.

Work hard. (Be lazy, but only sometimes.)

I once sat next to an old German man on a train and he asked me what my dream is. I told him that I want to travel, and he told me about how he moved to the U.S. from Germany as a young boy with nothing. He went to school, became a doctor, and now he teaches at a university in New York. He offered me this advice: “Keep a positive attitude. Don’t compromise your dreams and something will come and open up your universe. You younger generations need more confidence. Just know that us older generations believe in you. Let the universe come to you—invite it.”

Too much of anything can turn into a bad thing. The keys to happiness at its finest are balance and moderation.

Tell your parents goodnight before you go to bed. Tell the people you care about that you care about them. People need to be reminded of that.

Not everything lasts forever, and that’s okay. Look back and remember the goodness of all things, and be grateful for having it.

Ask yourself questions all the time. It is important to be able to answer to yourself, and be true to yourself.

The earth is a precious place, and you are just a visitor. Treat it well. Save as much life, energy, waste, and water as you can. Nothing is unlimited.

An excerpt from one of my favorite articles: “We have these brief lives, and our only real choice is how we will fill them. Your attention is precious. Don’t squander it. Don’t throw it away. Don’t let companies and products steal it from you. Don’t let advertisers trick you into lusting after things you don’t need. Don’t let the media convince you to covet the lives of celebrities. Own your attention — it’s all you really have.”

Stories are gifts that we give to each other. They can be happy, or sad, or scary. They are real, and they are meaningful. Remember as many of them as you can, especially the magical ones. Hold onto them and don’t forget that they can be very, very real.

“You are responsible for the energy you put into this world.”

Travel opens your eyes and your mind to both realities and dreams. Always keep going.

Try not to raise your voice, and try to always smile. Try new things often.

Know that the world we live in is a big one. There are millions of different souls and perspectives out there. You should never feel alone.

Power comes in many forms. Music, stories, writing, expression, art, thought, knowledge. Power is from within. Use yours—you have so many!

Self-discipline and patience are very necessary strengths. Learn them as early as you can.

Avoid any and all feelings of jealousy. Never wish to be anyone else.

Never burn bridges because you never know when you might need to cross them again.

And most importantly, never doubt that you are loved.

Love always,

Auntie

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Undress the Stress: Day 19

The last 18 days have flown by.  I triple checked to make sure that it was day 19.  Still don’t believe it.

I was having a wonderful morning full of meditation and stretch exercises until I got a phone call saying that I owe $1500 to my study abroad program.  So you can imagine that all of the stress I spent the morning getting rid of came rushing back in a matter of seconds.

It was the only thing that really stressed me today.  The plan was that my financial aid, grants, and scholarships were going to cover all of the costs of studying abroad, but of course only until the last minute I owe them hundreds of dollars.  Sigh.  The only way I thought of approaching this is allowing myself the weekend to take it in and make a plan B.  And then call the office and the program on Monday to figure it out together.

There’s no way I’m going to allow this to stop me from studying abroad next semester.  I’ve dedicated hours and hours of my life to writing essays, applying, getting classes approved, researching, etc. for this program that it would be a complete waste if this doesn’t happen.

So I have no fear.  And therefore, I have no stress.

I saw this bracelet today in one of the shops at Bryant Park in New York City.  It’s true:

In stress management class, we had a brief lesson about the “fight or flight” approaches to dealing with our problems.  Some people face it, and they fight it.  Others run ignore it and run away (or fly away).  I will not allow myself to do anything but fight in this situation because I know that there’s a solution, and I know I’m going to find it.

The universe is wrong if it thinks this curveball will end in a strike.  No siree.

I hope that all of you flyers have something you want so badly that you would fight for it and not allow it to stress you out.  That’s their strategy.  They stress you out so that you don’t have energy to fight, but I assure you that every battle we face can be won, otherwise we would not have been chosen to fight them.

So I know that I’m angry at it right now, but I still believe that: